Do I feel responsible for his death?
It’s still hard for me to believe this, or accept it. I often think about his family, about torture they must be going through, especially on holiday or his birthday, or the day of the accident. I’m afraid to imagine his mother’s pain and others. Although I’m sure that this accident wouldn’t happen if he wasn’t attacking me in the car, but I also made many mistakes. I stopped my car, or should I take another route? It’s not important now, I WAS THE DRIVER, and I feel very responsible for his death, that I couldn’t save him and find him. That I could do something differently. This will stay with me for the rest of my life, there is not a single day, that I am not thinking about it. I would like very much that he was here, and not leaving me with all of this. I feel responsible, but not for murder.