He insisted on meeting. He often appeared in places where I liked to spend time especially on the beach. When he pulled up to the beach I tried to talk to him gently that I am sorry but I can’t be with him. I did not want him to be sad so I advised him what not to do so that he could shape his life. Especially so that he would stop paying for sex and have sex with agency girls. He said he was a man and he must, but if I agree with him it will stop. I didn’t tell him that it was a disease for me and a very gross thing that I could never be with such a person.
He escaped from the workplace (his department building) to mine to only see me for a while. He was instructed from the Manager. Everyone knew and saw what was happening but I wanted to show that for me it is not all funny. I tried to separate myself from the situation and focus only on my work and return home.
After that, my roommate and others found out that’s something is wrong, and asked me if I needed any help. I was certain that he will get bored or his brother will talk to him. My roommate (with whom I live for 8 years), talked to his brother. It even worked for almost a month. But only with phone calls because he knew, that I won’t answer or text him back. Quickly I’ve noticed that he is following me literally everywhere, to the shop, to friends, to Dublin airport, to work… I had no idea how he does that. I started thinking that I have a GPS in my car.
Martha’s family is able to recognize Martha’s mood from the tone of her voice on the phone.
Is everything alright or not.
On last calls Martha is sad.
When pressed, she finally said:
“It’s 6 years already.
It’s the month.
I’m imagining Csaba’s family.
His Mother and Brother, when they stand over Csaba’s grave.”
Recently Martha’s family is very busy.
Last arrangements about further actions in Martha’s case are finalized.
Very important final meetings and arrangements.
“If you need this, If you can’t handle this, we will specially come to you”
“No, there’s no need”
After experiences of past 6 years, Martha’s family is exceptionally watchful in March.
Nevertheless it’s Martha who always reminds about this month.
It’s good that this year she reminded earlier, and not near March 26.
Not sleeping at night… thinking…wondering… analyzing what could be done differently, is starting again.
And there’s no counsellor around…
Everlasting trauma, returning with enormous power…
We thank very much to Martha’s friends in Ireland.
If it is possible please use all visit Martha is entitled to.
Thank you very much…
“I’ve noticed, that he rides to work earlier than he was supposed to, so he can park his car beside me, and when when I signed out at the end of the work day, he was waiting near my car. He insisted for us to go for coffee but I refused syaing that I’m busy. I’ve also noticed his car more often at my home, and after short time, I’ve figured out that he’s following me. He found all places where my friends live, because it is a small village.”
All meetings ended with this, because I was in Poland, and after returning to work, on the second year of our acquaintance, innocent jokes started around us. Everyone was laughing when he joked that I will be his wife, but I let it out with my other ear, knowing, that he’s joking. After some time it began to be awkward, because his jokes startes to be less and less funny and pointed individually to coworkers, for example: “Do not stand beside her, do not ever park beside her.”
At work he often liked to start chatting. For the first year everything was calm, and I had friendly relations with him and his brother. We even had coffee and a cake with his brother on his name day (or his brother’s name day, I don’t remember precisely). I visited them three times during the first year, when he asked me to lend him some money, when he needed to repair his car. I was also at his birthday, but only for 15 minutes, because he saw me, and asked me from the balcony to come in, just for a minute.
He was also sometimes assigned by the manager, to explain to me how I am supposed to work, because I was a new employee. He was kind, polite, and patient. When he could, he was giving me and other workers a ride to work, when we were starting on the same hour. We came back from work also together. But before that, at the very beginning, we had a taxi for workers, which was taken away from us. At that time we were all giving each other a ride. To me he was a hard-working, and he didn’t like when someone was lazy. He seemed like a calm man.
I first met him when I started working in the same hotel. We have known each other for two years but it wasn’t a close acquaintance. We were from different environments. He had his colleagues and spent the time with them. We never went together anywhere and there was no romantic or sexual relation between us. For the first year Csaba was courteous man. He had a kind heart when speaking of his family.