Since that moment the situation got only worse and it was more and more awkward, both at and outside of work. Many situations frightened me, so I tried to show him that I am angry. But when he was saying “I love when you’re angry” I tried crying, because I was getting sad and sorry, especially that so many people have been involved in this nonsense. I wanted him to stop, to end it. So we could get along. Sometimes I was even able to believe that he gave up, when he was saying that he’s going on a date or coffee with Dagmara. I was happy inside, but again it turned out that he only wanted to check if I’m going to be jealous.
After that, my roommate and others found out that’s something is wrong, and asked me if I needed any help. I was certain that he will get bored or his brother will talk to him. My roommate (with whom I live for 8 years), talked to his brother. It even worked for almost a month. But only with phone calls because he knew, that I won’t answer or text him back. Quickly I’ve noticed that he is following me literally everywhere, to the shop, to friends, to Dublin airport, to work… I had no idea how he does that. I started thinking that I have a GPS in my car.
I asked my colleagues to not to give any information, whereas I got phone calls that he is standing under the homes of my friends and why? My friends started to have problems with their husbands when he was standing at their houses or was bringing gifts to their workplaces. I had to explain (to the husbands) that it was about me, not their wives. I asked him to stop doing this. Never in my life I have encountered a situation or a person like Him
One day at work he apologized to me for his behavior and said, that he knows that he went too far, could I at least start saying “hi” to him again. OK, Hi, how are you, goodbye. But the culture quickly started changing into curiosity, questions, not only to me but to other people I knew. Where I was, with whom, how long, when, etc.
At work he made comments about who he doesn’t like, so that I would not befriend that person. Everything started to happen incredibly fast in those awkward situations. The phone was ringing off the hook and lots of texts. So I’ve decided to talk to his brother. He agreed to talk to him. I knew that I have to ignore his behavior and not to explain myself to him. Talking to his brother helped. Everything was fine for a week…
“I’ve noticed, that he rides to work earlier than he was supposed to, so he can park his car beside me, and when when I signed out at the end of the work day, he was waiting near my car. He insisted for us to go for coffee but I refused syaing that I’m busy. I’ve also noticed his car more often at my home, and after short time, I’ve figured out that he’s following me. He found all places where my friends live, because it is a small village.”
I’ve noticed that change already when I bought a car, and I could be independent. Asking about who I was talking to on a break. To who I gave a ride or with who I was returning. It was becoming more bold on his side with every month. He tried to tell me with whom I can or I shouldn’t talk at work. So I started to lightly explain to him, that I don’t need his advice, and that I take care of everything myself perfectly. But the situation grew much more serious.
All meetings ended with this, because I was in Poland, and after returning to work, on the second year of our acquaintance, innocent jokes started around us. Everyone was laughing when he joked that I will be his wife, but I let it out with my other ear, knowing, that he’s joking. After some time it began to be awkward, because his jokes startes to be less and less funny and pointed individually to coworkers, for example: “Do not stand beside her, do not ever park beside her.”
At work he often liked to start chatting. For the first year everything was calm, and I had friendly relations with him and his brother. We even had coffee and a cake with his brother on his name day (or his brother’s name day, I don’t remember precisely). I visited them three times during the first year, when he asked me to lend him some money, when he needed to repair his car. I was also at his birthday, but only for 15 minutes, because he saw me, and asked me from the balcony to come in, just for a minute.
He was also sometimes assigned by the manager, to explain to me how I am supposed to work, because I was a new employee. He was kind, polite, and patient. When he could, he was giving me and other workers a ride to work, when we were starting on the same hour. We came back from work also together. But before that, at the very beginning, we had a taxi for workers, which was taken away from us. At that time we were all giving each other a ride. To me he was a hard-working, and he didn’t like when someone was lazy. He seemed like a calm man.